Psalm 37
I love being active, whether it’s lifting weights, running, hiking, or taking walks with my family. However, it wasn’t always enjoyable. One of my favorite things to do now is go for a nice long run early on Saturday mornings. But the work and fitness required to enjoy a long run did not always feel delightful. It has taken years of consistency and hard work for me to enjoy long runs filled with prayer and contemplation, and to come home feeling filled up and ready to be all God has asked me to be rather than empty and depleted.
One of the primary movements I often see, and sometimes struggle to help people make, in my discipleship relationships is similar to this: moving from duty to delight in spiritual practices and in our relationship with Jesus.
Early in my spiritual journey, I remember dreading the moments when I would open my Bible or pray because it constantly felt obligatory rather than fulfilling.
This pattern has repeated in nearly every one of my discipleship relationships. When I invite people into a more formal process of discipleship, they typically express fairly quickly that they wish they enjoyed reading the Bible like I do or that they wish they enjoyed praying.
They want to want to follow Jesus.
What I think is pivotal in helping guide people through this is helping them understand that it is normal for following Jesus to feel like duty at first. We all have to begin somewhere.
Just like with any skill, practice, or relationship, it may not begin as something fulfilling and delightful. But as you spend more time with Jesus and make that relationship a priority, duty can slowly begin to give way to delight.
In Psalm 37, David writes:
“Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him and He will do this.”
Psalm 37:3–5
David does not describe delight as an isolated feeling. It is surrounded by trust, faithfulness, commitment, and dwelling with God. Delight grows within a life that continues to turn toward Him.
This is my prayer for my life and for all those I disciple: that we would find our deepest and most fulfilling delight in God Himself. As we trust Him, He shapes and guides our hearts into alignment with His will, forming within us desires that He delights to fulfill.
This does not mean that enough effort will automatically produce love for God. Discipline cannot manufacture delight. But it can create space for us to remain present to God and allow Him to shape our desires.
To follow Jesus, you must first be with Him. And to learn to love being with Him, you may have to endure a season of awkward first dates.
When my wife, Anna, and I first started dating, I always felt the need to say something, make a joke, ask a question, or fill the silence. Now, after 12 years of marriage, we are totally content sitting in silence next to each other, simply enjoying each other’s presence.
Our relationship did not become meaningful simply because time passed. It became meaningful because we kept choosing to be present with one another.
The same is often true in our relationship with Jesus. At first, silence may feel awkward. Prayer may feel forced. Scripture may feel difficult. But as we keep showing up, we slowly learn that His presence is not something we have to perform in. It is something we can rest in.
Later in the same Psalm, David writes:
“Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for Him.”
Psalm 37:7
Stillness, patience, trust, and delight all belong together. We remain with God long enough for Him to form something deeper in us than obligation.
This movement from duty to delight may take a couple of months, or it may take many years, but it is a goal and desire worth pursuing and praying for. Delighting in the presence of the Lord should be our greatest joy as followers of Jesus.
So whether you are thinking about your personal walk with Jesus or your discipling relationships, don’t shy away from starting with duty, setting boundaries, or simply setting a timer or goal to remain in prayer and solitude for a few minutes.
You are not trying to earn God’s presence or force yourself to love Him. You are simply choosing to place yourself before Him, trusting that He is able to shape your heart.
Set your eyes on delight. Ask the Father to turn your heart toward His, and trust that He will meet you there.